


Beware the Ides of March

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: Julius Caesar - Shakespeare, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 19:57:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1317361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well today's the day, history buffs, The Ides of March, the day when Emperor of Rome Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Senate floor. </p><p>Bones is talking in his sleep and Jim takes advantage of the situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware the Ides of March

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iseult1124](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseult1124/gifts).



Stardate 2232.74  
Captain’s Personal Log:

Bizarre happenings today…Bones woke me up at 0600, mumbling in his sleep, “All hail Caesar, Emperor of Rome.”

When I shoved against him to tell him to cut the shit, he informed me, “You will kneel before your Emperor, peasant.”

Peasant? I’ve been called a lot of things in my time, but never a peasant. “Well what if I say, ‘fuck you’ Caesar?”

“Well that’s simple,” he said haughtily, “I’ll just crucify you. What’s a peasant like you compared to the might of Rome?”

“Well fuck me, Jules.”

“Fuck a puny little slave like you? I think not.”

As you can see, Bones was completely off his gourd. Since I was now wide awake, I decided to play along and see where we ended up, you know, because it was 0600 and now I was up for the day.

“A puny slave am I, Emperor? Guess your eyes, didn’t make it down to my cock, did they?”

“I’ve seen bigger cocks in the henhouse, slave.”

Okay, I have to admit, that made me laugh. How fucking ridiculous was this conversation? Truthfully, on a scale of 1-10, I’d give it a 5, because there was that one time Bones, Scotty and I debated the use of peanut butter as lube…but that’s another story.

“I don’t think so Jules, Bones tells me all time how big my cock is, you’re missing out pal.”

“Who is this Bones, you speak of, another slave? A gladiator? Who? Has the Imperial cock breached the sweet cheeks of his ass?”

Fucking seriously? “No, JC, that would be quite impossible.”

“IMPOSSIBLE, you say? Nothing is impossible, I have the entire Roman Army at my back, while all you have is a bone.”

He had a point, I did indeed have a bone…but on the other hand, so did his Imperial Highness. I figured what the hell and reached out to run my hand from tip to root.

“You have skill, slave, not as much as Mark Antony, but you’ll do, continue to pleasure me slave.”

I’ll do? Please, there is no one more skilled at handjobs in the entire galaxy, than James Tiberius Kirk. I continued my travels up and down Bones’, errmm Caesar’s cock and of course he continued to shout out instructions, “Harder slave, faster, you have the hands of a woman.” Wait, WHAT?

“What’s in this for me, Jules, what do I get for wanking the cock of the head of the Roman Empire? I’m thinking Gaul would be nice prize.”

“GAUL? You’d have to do a lot more than rub my cock for me to give you that prime piece of land.”

“Your wish is my command Emperor.” Now what I would do with modern day France was beyond me, but what the fuck? I was a fan of their bread and snails…

I leaned down and sucked his majesty’s cock down my throat and started to hum, that always got Bones going, but I had to wonder if that was too plebian for the likes of Caesar. I needn’t have worried because he grabbed onto my head and started roughly shoving me down further. Bones and I had done this a million times, but I admit it got a little scary when Caesar started to bellow, “Swallow me slave, swallow for your Emperor, swallow for Rome.” Swallow for Rome? Christ, JC, just fucking come already. I dipped a finger in my own drool and traced it against his hole. Thankfully that did it and he started to come down my throat. It was just in the nick of time too, because his hold on my head was so tight, I thought my brains would ooze out my ears.

“Jim? Wha’ the fuck Jim, can’t you see ‘m tryin t’sleep.”

“Just doing my duty to Rome, Bones.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This started out in a couple of forms....first I thought I would do a longer piece about Bones being stuck in ancient Rome as Caesar and knowing his own doom was fast approaching. Unfortunately, I couldn't get that dog to hunt as the saying goes. So I was just going to have to be content with a Tumblr drabble to mark this historic day, but Jim had other ideas, so here it is a short Bones/Caesar fic.


End file.
